Article by Allan
Why Bullies Act the Way They Do
Bullies are often just children who are unhappy or confused. They may be shy and use bullying as a tactic to get attention. Bullies usually have a lot going on that we do not know about. There may be social or emotional causes that make them act out, they use bullying as an outlet. An expression of their frustration. Taking their aggression out on others is often a way to act out the aggression they have toward the situation they are in.
However that in no way justifies bullying.
Won’t Self Defense do more harm than good?
Bullying can bring around more violence than a little self-defense. The shootings at schools are caused by bullying. These people can’t cope with the constant bullying their whole lives, so they shoot up a school. It causes serious problems. If kids are taught self-defense to put an end to bullying, bullying will stop.
Bullies are just kids who think they are bigger and stronger than other kids. Sometimes, this is true. However, bullies are well-known for not fighting. However, if the bullying does persist and the bully continues to get physical, some good old-fashioned self-defense will help. It’s like magic. When a bully looks up at the kid he was picking on from on the ground, he is not so tough anymore. Now, it’s over.
Won’t my kid get in trouble for fighting?
Absolutely. But do you want your child to keep letting himself get pushed around?
Of course not.
One little mark on this kid’s record isn’t going to hurt him nearly as much as a lifetime of bullying. Also, most fights will only receive a verbal reprimand, with a week’s suspension being the maximum punishment. You should always consult a teacher before using self defense. But if the bullying persist, your child needs to take things into his own hands and knowing how to defend himself is crucial.
If explained to the principal that witnesses saw the first blow being thrown by a bully, or that the kid was subject to constant bullying, the punishment could be lessened. Also, the pride of actually taking down a bully, knowing you did something right, and being a school hero is worth it.
As parents, our main concern is how to protect our children.
Below are some suggestions that have proven successful over the years for me.
1. Teach them not to react – At the core, bullies say and do what they do to illicit a reaction from their ‘victims’. The first and best way to counteract a bully is to ignore him. Teach your children that if a bully gets in his face, to smile or laugh and walk away. When doing so, walking towards a teacher or other adult.
2. Teach them to talk with adults/teachers – If your children are being bullied, help them understand that it not only affects them, but affects all of the children who go to school with them. Help them to understand that bullying is not tolerated at their school and that their teachers and administrators would want to know if there is a student who is bullying others.
3. Teach them to defend others – Teach your children to notice when other kids being bullied and to stand up for them. Often times, all it takes to stop a bully is to have other children get involved and show that they will stand with the ‘victim’.
4. Teach them to fight back if attacked physically – Teach your children that it is always right for them to defend themselves. If another child attacks them physically, they should defend themselves by fighting back. If they have friends around, their friends should get involved to help defend them. Their physical response should be proportional to what was done to them. Once the bully has backed down, they should stop.
5. Enroll your kids in martial arts – One of the best things you can do for your kids is to enroll them in a martial arts course. These courses teach self defense that is highly effective, but they also instill a huge amount of self confidence and self control that can be effective when dealing with bullies. Sometimes, just knowing that your child is taking kick boxing or Karate is enough to take them off the list of potential targets from bullies.
If you use these strategies, you will very likely see your child become less of a target for bullies.
For more information visit Self Defense Lessons
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